Friday, March 4, 2011

The One That Got Away

It's Friday and that's always a day for risky behavior. I will seriously regret posting this but I'm gonna hit publish anyhow.

We needed some ink cartridges for our computer and so the boy-child and I went to Target. He was walking ahead of me and as I rounded the corner into the aisle, I farted. Let me emphasize that with italics because I like using them. I farted in Tarjay. The Neiman Marcus for those of us born without a trust fund. No. Warning. Whatsoever. Say all you want about the 50s being the new 40s, but back then I knew when a fart was coming and could do something about it.

I said, "Excuse me," because with the exception of a rogue fart, I have impeccable manners. The boy-child turned around and said, "Did you just fart?" That's when we both lost it. Like on the floor lost it. Crying, shaking, can't talk lost it. Almost peed in my pants lost it. When he could talk he said, "I can't believe you just farted in Target."

Neither could I and maybe it's our DNA that gives us the mental maturity of an eight year old boy who loves a good fart. I would have loved it more if it was him instead of me but bonding has a way of sneaking up on you.

Whenever the two of us are out and about he never fails to say, "Hey, Mom, remember that time you farted in Target" (like I could forget that)? Then we laugh like the immature, little dorks that we are.


  1. Can't keep what you can't hold in your hand....

  2. So glad you published this :)

  3. Ellen "Sniffy" MurphyMarch 6, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    Does it say anything about me that I'm the only one not related to you who is commenting on this? I don't want to leak any bad news, but this is just the beginning, fine lady. Better sharpen up on those good manners, because you will find yourself relying on them more and more. For instance, does this sound familiar: "Excuse me, but I've forgotten your name," you'll say, and the answer will be, "Mom, it's me, Maggie!"