Don't laugh, but a vicious squirrel has terrorized a Vermont neighborhood, attacking at least three residents and eluding wildlife control experts for more than a week.
The small gray squirrel in Bennington, Vt., has broken the peace that existed between humans and the small woodland creatures. In separate incidents, the pugnacious rodent has bitten and scratched neighbors without provocation, local station Fox 23 reported.
"[It] just latched on to my shoulder, and I went back and it's a gray squirrel," victim Kevin McDonald told the TV station.
McDonald was shoveling snow outside his home when the sneak attack began. "He was holding on. He wouldn't let go. I was finally able to get him off, and as soon as I got him off, he just jumped right at me again." The feisty critter inflicted several scratches on McDonald last week.
A small woodland creature? Ummm...that's Thumper and his little friends in Bambi. These are thugs dangling from bird feeders like they own 'em and then fornicating in the front yard. That's what we in the Heartland call a Yard Terrorist.
Happy spring Fur Face (FYI.....this is not for the lady working in the drive-up at the Burger King who needs to be introduced to Sally Hansen Wax Strips), your days are seriously numbered. Yeah, I'm talking to you.