The Beester lost her cell phone. It's been missing for a couple of weeks and in the Land of Tough Love, it was too bad, so sad kind of sympathy until a neighbor told me about someone who left his cell phone in a cab. When he realized what he'd done, he called the cab company the next day and got the phone back. What he also got was $400.00 in phone charges to a sex line that the cabbie was fond of (things must have slowed down a lot after that fare). I had one of them there holy shit moments.
I hate cell phone companies and calling them makes my blood pressure go up and stomach knot but I needed to cancel service on this phone. When I got around to it and gone thru all the prompts (press 7 if friends make fun of the "old" phone you bought six months ago, press 8 if your bill is longer than the # of pages you read in all of the last year, press 9 if you are going to put your fist thru the wall) I was pretty pissed and ready to do battle. What I got was Tonya, who tsked, tsked my teenage daughter for losing the phone, told me it happens all the time, suggested we suspend service so that should it show up in the next thirty days we could call and activate it again and apologized for having computer problems.
Oh, I was going to rip somebody's head off alright but instead I laughed with Tonya, said no worries about your computer problems, honey, said don't teenagers and cell phones make you crazy, said hey, Tonya, do you and the fam have plans for Easter dinner this year cuz me and Big Daddy would love for you to come? Oh, a jello mold and some deviled eggs, why that would be great. Hmmm, mmmm....2:00.
Cell Phone Company Rep + Me = Two Shmoozers. One of us is going to end up getting hurt and I'm pretty sure it's not my new BFF, Tonya.