Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Toast

About ten years ago, Big Daddy and I started hosting an Easter dinner for those of us who have no family in town to spend the holidays with.  Around year three, BD decided to relax with a glass (or many) of wine once the ham was in the oven.  When the ham was done, the guests had arrived and BD was carving, I told him that he should make some sort of toast before we ate.  I should have given him more notice to gather his thoughts, but until that moment it hadn't occurred to me either.

We gathered around the tables, BD announced that he'd like to make a toast and everyone picked up their glasses.  And, geez Louise, did he start toasting.  There would be a long pause, we'd all start to lower our glass thinking it was ending and he'd start right back up.  I'm giving him the what the Frank look let's end this thing before Memorial Day, but he's not making any eye contact whatsoever.  Finally, he says, "Hey this reminds me of a joke.  Do you know why birds fly upside down over Kansas?  Cuz it's not worth a shit."  Hardy, har, har.  That's when it dawns on me that he's three sheets to the wind and working a stand-up routine so I jump in and take control of the situation.  Cheers, Happy Easter, God bless us everyone and BD sit your ass down and eat some carbs to soak up that red wine you've been knocking back. 

Since then, BD has redeemed himself and every year delivers a lovely, little speech that he has prepared for the occasion.  Now that many Easters have come and gone, the rest of us fondly look back at the Year of the Toasted as well as the start and end of a career in show biz...........Thank you, thank you very much.  I'll be appearing all next week at the Holiday Inn located in beautiful downtown Decatur.   You've been a great audience and hey, don't forget to tip your waitresses.

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