Several years ago, The Big Daddy and I went to see "Open Water". The movie was about a couple that goes scuba diving in the Barrier Reef and when they come up, the tour boat has left without them. It was based on a true story and by the end, they succumb to the elements. Well, that and the sharks. It. Terrified. Me.
When we were on our vacation, I'd get a panic attack every time we were in the boat, for fear I'd get tossed out and left behind until death mercifully came. It took some doing, but I decided to put my big girl panties on one afternoon and get on the boat so I could hang out at the beach while the kids went tubing. The Captain anchored the boat, The Big Daddy went swimming down yonder, and the kids and I got in the water. We were on a sandbar having fun until it was time for them to go tubing and I needed to swim to shore.
Every time my foot left the sandbar, I'd panic. I tried about five times and I couldn't do it. Finally, I got a life jacket on SO WHEN I WALKED TO the shore, I wouldn't die. About this time, The Big Daddy comes back and says........
What are you doing with a life jacket on? Going to hang out on the beach.
You don't need a life jacket. It's a safety measure.
Safety for what? For when the sharks come.
It's a lake. It's big like the ocean.
You're in four feet of unsalted water. Maybe the sharks got lost.
Maybe you've lost your mind. That's why the sharks can't have my arms and legs.
While the kids watched all this from the boat, I thought I felt something by my leg and that's when people in the movies always feel the sharks. I didn't hang around to convince them I wasn't crazy because me and my life jacket needed to bob to the shore. When I had safely landed, I made a beeline to the bathroom.
It was hard work dodging the sharks, and just an FYI here, it is possible to have the shit scared out of you.