Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Week in Pictures

I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel so pretty lately.  My friend says, "Don't worry, it's that menopause.  It'll pass in ten or so years."  Well, I knew that, but still there's something not right.

"Big Daddy", I said, "I think I need a new look.  An update, something a little more modern."   "Don't be crazy, why you're the purtiest woman I've ever known.  I remember at our wedding, you stunned me with your bazooms beauty."  Well, I have to admit, all eyes were on me that day.

Everybody said I looked just like my great grandma.  I don't see the resemblance, but that's just me.

Well, after the wedding and Sissy coming along, I didn't have the time for getting pretty, what with the crazy schedule we kept at the circus.

I sure was wishing that Miss Oprah hadn't gone off and retired.  How was I supposed to live my best life without her telling me what that was?
Source: via Joi on Pinterest

Just when I was about at my lowest, Junior came along and said, "I know what you need, Momma, to update your look."  I'm telling you, that Junior knows me better than just about anyone else, save for The Big Daddy."

Well, back and forth, and back and forth I went to my favorite parlor until I was satisfied that I once again was a beautiful woman with a modern touch.  Nobody even recognized me as I'm not usually one to wear color.                                 

The whole block came out to celebrate my makeover, and I could swear I saw this guy coming down the street.
Source: via Susan on Pinterest

I looked at him with lust in my tattooed heart and said, "I've got two words for you, Mister.  Hubba Hubba."  And he took off running like he'd just robbed the pawn shop.  I gave him a good chase, but without much support for my old bazooms in my new top, I knocked Junior and Sissy out cold, and we had to put 'em in the truck and take 'em to one of them Minute Clinics. 

1 comment:

  1. I waited until I thought I was alone to read this as not to attract the negative attention my roaring laughter seems to bring, but the 15 year old shot from his room like a rocket wondering "what was wrong." Besides once again giving me a good guffaw, you also may be canonized for performing a miracle--getting said child to come out of his room! :)