Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Brats Incident

From the archives of The Big Daddy Bad Behavior file.................

When the chillens were little, we would take them to the pumpkin patch.  At the time, we lived in Maryland, and so we drove out yonder to the farm for some good ol' fall fun.  When we arrived at said Pumpkin Patch, the aroma of brats on the grill was the first thing you smelled when you got out of the car.  "Oh geez," the Big Daddy said, "Those brats smell good."  We can't have brats, we didn't bring that much money (this was way before the handy-dandy debit card came to be).  "Not enough for brats?"  No extra money for brats, just pumpkins.  "I love brats.  You mean there's no extra cash for any food?"  Well, it's not like we'd have to get a brat, we'd have to get four brats and then we'd have no money for pumpkins.   Suddenly, Sunday Funday had turned into a bitch for The BD.

The kids jumped like little monkeys on the hay bales, and played with all the other kids.  At one point, we went into the corn maze and went left and right and all about trying to find the way out.  Oh, such fun, but I didn't see The Big Daddy.  He must have been way behind us.  When the kids and I emerged, the very first thing I saw, crouched down near the hay bales was The Big Daddy stuffing a brat into his mouth.

As soon as my eyes landed on him, I marched over and said, "Oh you couldn't think of the whole family having fun, you just had to get a brat, didn't you?"  He said he couldn't help himself, you know how I love the brats, baby, and polished it off.

I gave him the stinkeye all afternoon, and when we took a hayride out to the fields to get pumpkins, the kids would lift some big, ol' heavy pumpkin up and say, "I want this one."  And I would look into those little, innocent toddler eyes of theirs and say, "No, honey, something smaller.  Your father had a brat so you can't have a big pumpkin."   They'd be so sad until The Big Daddy told 'em little pumpkins are better anyways.

Twenty years later, BD would say nothing beats a grilled brat on a fall day at the pumpkin patch, but leave The Ball and Chain at home if you really want to enjoy it.


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