Thursday, November 3, 2011

Walking With Eskimos

From the archives of The Big Daddy Bad Behavior File.................

I walk every day.  Sometimes I ask The Big Daddy to accompany me.  He does not.  Walking is for girls.  He likes The Biking that requires gear.  Thump-the-chest-look-at-me-I-wear-gear.  Walking requires gym shoes.  How lame is that?

On a cold, snowy day that wasn't suited to biking, I convinced him to go for a walk.  This was the perfect weather to wear his dad's Standard Issue Army Parka from back in the day.  He loves to haul out the parka.  He has gone in the basement during dinner parties to bring up the parka for Show and Tell.  That's nice, honey.  Now put that away cuz we have guests here. 

Off to the park we went and he couldn't hear anything I said because he had his parka hood on.  When he'd turn to look at me, his head would still be inside the hood because it was so big, so then he couldn't see or hear.  It was walking, yelling, and The Big Daddy saying, "WHAAAAAAAAT?"  Why, oh why, did I ask him to come along?

We got to the park and up ahead there was a guy walking towards us with a little dog.  We walked off the sidewalk to avoid a dog altercation, and as we passed, the guy said, "Thanks, I appreciate that."  To which The Big Eskimo Daddy said, "WHAAAAAAAAAT?"  And gets his face lost in his hood.  Again.  Next thing, I hear a yelp and BD's boot is in the air with a dog flying off the end of it.  I do not know you.  I've never met you.  Do not walk with me.  The Big Daddy is looking around in his hood saying, "What happened?  What happened"  Well, ya kicked the guy's dog in the ass, that's what happened.  

The guy scoops up his whimpering dog and gives The Big Daddy a big dose of stinkeye.  Which he couldn't see, what with the hood on and all.  By this time, Henry and I had walked on, the guy was carrying his crippled dog home, and The Big Daddy is standing all alone in the park in his Standard Issue Army Parka, shouting into his hood, "Hey, hey you guys, wait for me."

We did not.

3 comments:

  1. If there were goal posts around, it would have a little dog Field goal. "Its up ......and ITS GOOD!!!"

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  2. See I am not the writer... I didn' preview my comment like I should have... I (instead of it)
    DUUUHHHHHH!

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  3. So Funny !
    Tears running down our faces
    from laughing so hard !
    Nice way to start the day.
    Judy & Tom

    ReplyDelete