Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Finding The Right Company

The Big Daddy and I were invited to a going-away party this weekend for one of the guys in his bike group that is moving.  He loves these guys, but I don't know them very well and let's face it.................I crack on bikers rather often.  Add to that, I am not a good mingler, and oh how I wished I could stay home.

When we got there, The BD immediately made his way to his posse and other than saying "hi" I didn't converse with them very much.  They inevitably start talking the bike lingo.............hills, sustained m.p.h., bonking........and it is a subject which I am not interested in.  I ended up eating at a table on the screened porch and had a lovely conversation with my table mates.

Two of the other wives that I have recently gotten to know in this group we're in the family room and I walked into their conversation about mother-in-laws (MIL).  That's when I heard the story of Classic Peg (name changed for reasons you'll know soon).

Classic Peg had no filter when it came to talking about personal matters and while they were in the car one day with two young girls in the backseat, Classic Peg started discussing her vaginal dryness.  Oh, you can't believe it.  I'm so dry up there it's like it's cracking.  Don't even talk to me about sex.  Hurts like hell.  Daughter-In-Law tried numerous times to divert the conversation to something else, but Classic Peg wouldn't hear of it.  I got some of that Prempro from the doctor.  You put it in the applicator, and squirt it way up into your vagina and let me tell you it does the trick.  Sex is much better once you get a few doses of Prempro up there because it's not so dry anymore.  You've got to keep up with it, though.  If you miss a few doses you're back to Crustyville in no time, and the sex starts hurting again.

She wasn't done.

A friend of hers had an even better story.  She took a neighbor to see her MIL's house.  When they got to the bedroom, the neighbor remarked on what a lovely view it was from the bed.  Oh, I know, MIL said.  When Bob takes me from behind............I love looking at that view.

When Bob does what??????

I never moved from the couch the rest of the night.  I had found my peeps.


  1. two questions:
    What is a MIL?
    Is Peg...Peg Bundy?
    Hilarious stuff. Wish I travelled in your circle of friends.

  2. MIL was my shorthand for mother-in-law......sorry I guess I should have made that clearer. And no it's not about Peg Bundy but it sounds like her. Thanks for reading, Ms. B.

  3. Oh man, been swamped for a week and unable to indulge my blog reading addiction, only to come back to this.

    Amazing. Those ladies would be my peeps. Yes they would.