With time off for wedding planning, I am back to my job search. I have decided that working in a doctor's office would be a good fit for me. The pay and hours are better than retail and you can sit. Winning!
Specifically, I thought an eye doctor's office would suit me because I love picking out glasses for myself and others, and I'd likely not be called upon to save somebody's life in the waiting room. Three hours after I responded to a Craigslist ad, I got a call to come in the following day. It was as if the universe agreed that I was on the right path.
It wasn't an easy interview by any means, but I felt like I was holding my own until the doctor mentioned the math test.
I am sort of a whiz at math. If I'm at Macy's and shorts are $39.00 less 30% plus a 20% off coupon, I can figure out exactly what I owe with tax. All in my head. I'm especially gifted when it comes to the clearance rack.
I was presented with four problems. Four. Word. Problems.
Help me Jesus.
If Patient X has an eye exam that costs $92.00 and there is a co-pay of $20.00 and $40.00 of that is a contact lens exam that insurance does not cover but allows a 15% discount less an annual deductible of $50.00, how much does Patient X owe at checkout?
No worries. Add this column, carry the one. No, no, carry two. Or should I double that and subtract four? 82.........82.......82..........246.
I read the problems over and over and over which didn't result in any answers, but more of a pre-diarrhea feeling settling in. I scored a below average 50% on my employment quiz.
The doctor asked me to explain how I arrived at my answers.
Your answers, she said. Explain your logic.
Here's my logic. I kept throwing shit against a wall and waited for something to stick, and lookie, here, half of it did. You should hire me for your relief pitcher.
She's going to do a background check on me and will be in touch in a few days. There's a 50% chance that it will reveal to her that I am deficient in logic. Math and otherwise.