Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A Beautiful Mind

With time off for wedding planning, I am back to my job search.  I have decided that working in a doctor's office would be a good fit for me.  The pay and hours are better than retail and you can sit.  Winning!

Specifically, I thought an eye doctor's office would suit me because I love picking out glasses for myself and others, and I'd likely not be called upon to save somebody's life in the waiting room.  Three hours after I responded to a Craigslist ad, I got a call to come in the following day.  It was as if the universe agreed that I was on the right path.

It wasn't an easy interview by any means, but I felt like I was holding my own until the doctor mentioned the math test. 

I am sort of a whiz at math.  If I'm at Macy's and shorts are $39.00 less 30% plus a 20% off coupon, I can figure out exactly what I owe with tax.  All in my head.  I'm especially gifted when it comes to the clearance rack.

I was presented with four problems.  Four. Word. Problems.

Help me Jesus.

If Patient X has an eye exam that costs $92.00 and there is a co-pay of $20.00 and $40.00 of that is a contact lens exam that insurance does not cover but allows a 15% discount less an annual deductible of $50.00, how much does Patient X owe at checkout?

No worries.  Add this column, carry the one.  No, no, carry two.  Or should I double that and subtract four?  82.........82.......82..........246.

I read the problems over and over and over which didn't result in any answers, but more of a pre-diarrhea feeling settling in.  I scored a below average 50% on my employment quiz.

The doctor asked me to explain how I arrived at my answers.

My what?

Your answers, she said.  Explain your logic.

Here's my logic.  I  kept throwing shit against a wall and waited for something to stick, and lookie, here, half of it did.  You should hire me for your relief pitcher.

She's going to do a background check on me and will be in touch in a few days.  There's a 50% chance that it will reveal to her that I am deficient in logic.  Math and otherwise.

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