Sunday, December 16, 2012


Last month, Mark, Mallory and I went to see Lincoln.  As is the nature of our half-assedness, we ordered tickets online but left the house later than we should have for a crowded Friday night that also featured the new Twilight movie.

When we got inside the theater there weren't many seats left and so we sat near the front.  There were five rows ahead of us that were too close to the screen, then a wide aisle before the rest of the regular seats.  We sat to the left of the movie screen behind the aisle - a small row with only four seats.

Directly in front of us was a ramp that led to an emergency exit.

Throughout the movie my eyes kept darting to the exit.  Over and over.  There were no seats in front of us, and so I surmised that if that horrible night in Aurora, Colorado was replicated, I would dive onto Mallory and Mark would likely shield both of us.

Twice during the movie, a guy got up to share snacks with someone he knew who was sitting a few rows ahead of him and I watched his every move.  When friends asked what I thought of the movie, I said it was good and left out the part about feeling trapped for too long in a theater.

Ever since then I've thought about writing of that night.  I thought about it again last week when there was the mall shooting in Oregon.  I also thought that my anxiety level was reaching ridiculous levels.

I never fathomed it was about to go to a new place.


  1. Powerful piece my dear. Let us only hope that this becomes our wake up call... not a call to arms... but a call to understanding, compassion and sacrifice. Only then will we finally achieve peace.

  2. Great expression of feelings that Tom and I have had since Sept. 19 and we had guns to our head.
    Our " Incident " seems trivial compared to all the other things going on in the past few weeks and of course the Great Tragedy in CT. on Friday.But I can honestly say that we will never feel safe anywhere. It took a bit of time to go back out and try to live normally but we are always looking over our shoulder and each event that we happen to be going to - Grocery store - Gas Station or even Church, we are ready for someone to come out of nowhere. In fact 2 months ago in our Church parking lot a man who was late for Mass was Robbed at Gunpoint and the guys got away. The end result from that story is now we have Police on patrol for all 7 Masses every Sunday. Sad that these things are getting more and more frequent.
    Even God's House has armed guards.

  3. I know it sounds weird, but after Jack's death I feel less fearful than ever before. Everything I thought was safe, wasn't, and everything I tried to plan for, didn't come to pass. This helplessness, I guess, has led me to either be numb or just realize I can't control a darn thing. That doesn't mean, of course, that we shouldn't be vigilant when it comes to guns, mental health, and keeping our eyes open for warning signs. We should. We also should be vigilant about being lights in the darkness of this dark world. Praying for peace in the broken hearts of the CT families...