Monday, April 8, 2013

May I Take Your Order Please

The Big Daddy is a smart guy.  A real smart guy.  Sometimes when he talks to me about protein folding, I wonder how his brain can hold so much information while my claim to fame is solving puzzles on Wheel of Fortune and figuring out percent off in my head.

He often gives lectures to students and to colleagues at professional meetings.  Based on the amazing toast he gave at Maggie and Nate's wedding, and the lovely toast he makes every year for our Easter dinner, I am also in awe of his naturalness when speaking in front of a lot of people.

I do not have that gift.

So it seems to me that he should be able to easily order food at a drive-up, but that is not the case.  He either can't hear or can't understand what they're saying, is phklempt when he tries to place the order, is confused by ordering multiple menu items, has no idea what some of these things even are, can't understand why we can't get a burger with everything on it and pick off what we don't like, and most importantly, why we can't haul our lazy asses out of the car and go get our own food.

Yesterday we drove through a local place to get Mal a burger.  She wanted The Single with mustard, ketchup and pickle and a cherry limeade.

You want what?

Say that again.

Mustard, ketchup, onion and pickle?

Well, that's what it comes with.

You don't want the onion?

Just pick it off.

A cherry limeade?

What size?

Just when it seemed that he might be able to place this basic, small order by talking into a menu board, I had to foul things up by saying, "Make that two cherry limeades."

He ordered the burger, a cherry limeade and a lime limeade.

That's when Mal and I lost it. 

A limeade is lime.  Nobody orders a lime limeade because there's no such thing.

And we started laughing so hard that by the time we made it to the pick-up window we were crying because this poor guy is so out of his element in a drive-thru lane.

What happened to you that makes you so bad at this?

The Big Daddy's earliest experience with a drive-thru goes way back.  Back to high school and this guy in the wee hours................

.............which could explain the flashbacks he has every time he has to drive up and place an order.


  1. "A limeade is lime. Nobody orders a lime limeade because there's no such thing."

    "What happened to you that makes you so bad at this?"

    Oh SpeckT, you slay me.

    My husband makes this weird "ch-chee-cha-chee-ch-chee" sound in the drive-thru speaker while he's thinking. To let them audibly know he's thinking? No idea but that crap never gets old.

  2. I laughed with tears - this is so my husband. Usually neither one of us can understand the voice on the other end.

    The speakers need to be technically updated!

  3. Read it and I'm still laughing ! Not just a little laugh but the kind where you have to catch your breath. Tom was in the living room watching the Hawks play and he finally
    had to come and see what was so funny . So I have stopped laughing and Tom has read it and now
    ( kind of like hiccups)he is hysterical.
    Thanks for ending our evening with a funny finale.