Sunday, August 25, 2013

Just Wait'll I Get My Hanes On You

When I was single and working in Chicago, I would sometimes go to Marshall Field's on my lunch hour to buy underwear.  Not the sturdy, practical kind that Mom bought every year at Sears, but something Sexish In The City.  Even if I was running on fumes in my checking account, a lacy pair of undies would only set me back five bucks.

A lot of years and a few kids changed all that, and pretty underwear just didn't seem necessary in the mini-van.

The last time I sprung for several pairs of underwear at once was when Casual Corner was going out of business.  They had begun to add undergarments to their line and I got several pairs for 40% off.

That was in 2009.

Four years later and with barely any elastic left in them, I knew I needed to replenish the stock.  By chance, I was in Tuesday Morning and they had a rack of underwear marked down 90%.  Score!  I got several pairs that rang up at just under a dollar a piece.

They must have been there for a long while because when I went to tear the sticky product tag off the front it left a big white mark on my black panties.  Not really so much of a score!

I was in Target the other day and passed a display of Hanes underwear.  Right in front were packages of boy shorts.  Well son-of-a-britches, sign me up for that trend.

Oh my gosh, they were so boy short briefs.  I couldn't wait to wear them.

I chose the white ones first.  The polka dot would be saved for date night.

Maybe I bought them a size too big.  Maybe I should have paid attention to the word "brief".  Maybe that's really not the look for me.  Maybe if I get in a car accident wearing these things and the fire department comes...............

Please God not the firemen.

I looked like a fat, middle-aged woman wearing a gigantic diaper.

                          I need panties by the box immediately if not sooner. (So as to get my granny on, obviously.)


  1. Funny! It's hard for old women (like me) to find the underwear pictured! Those are my style!

    So many thongs, brief briefs and tiny little things are available.

  2. Loved the story Kathy !
    I have to keep a few " Fancy Pants " around just
    to keep your brother interested. Living in Sin City does have its challenges but it keeps me on my toes !

  3. Kathy,
    I bought the same thing recently and thought maybe I put them on backwards! I think mine may be too big too but I was trying to avoid "panty Lines" and thought this was the answer. Waste of time. Sarah J.

  4. Those boy briefs make my legs look like two polish sausages hissing on the grill as they protrude from the skin they're in. Or maybe my legs make my legs look like that. Boy briefs? Are for boys in my book.