Monday, September 2, 2013

Antlers

I will blame my friend, Mary.  The friend with the dining room that made my heart fibrillate years ago when I first saw it.

Oh, and Pottery Barn.  That relentlessly prolific company that sends a catalog of creative mojo once a month that I study like The Beatitudes in 4th grade.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for decorating ideas for they will be filled.  Financing available. 

Between the two of them I have become obsessed with antlers.

I have a few of them within The Man Cave, but I have been on the hunt for more and The Sparks Labor Day Weekend Flea Market is my annual ticket to some horns.

The Fisher kids developed a fondness for the flea market when they went with us last year so they were up and at 'em with us at 7:30 a.m. for the ninety minute trek to the middle of Nowhere, Kansas where vintage reigns supreme.

The Sermon.........Kids, trust your eye.  You'll know when you see it.  Do Not Pay Full Price.  Everybody deals.  Be nice and smile when you ask for their best price.  We can always backtrack if you can't stop thinking about something.

We wandered and wandered and wandered.  Prepared with sunscreen, a box of Cheez-Its, water and the rolling metal cart The Big Daddy insisted we buy a few years ago which has been the best twenty bucks we ever spent.  While the kids were on the hunt for cameras I moved ahead.......and like a stairway to heaven There Were My Antlers.

A whole stack of them.  The singles (how 'bout two bucks, Ma'm?) and the pairs (ten work for ya?) and oh my goodness, it was like winning the World Series.

And while I was deciding which ones I liked best, and The Big Daddy was saying "Really?  You really want more of those?", a country guy was watching all this unfold and shaking his head.

"You know, lady, that you can get those for free?  The deer shed them and they're all over the woods.  You just have to get out there before the bugs get to them."

So I've heard, but I'm not sure exactly sure when I'm supposed to go into the woods to find them.

"Well now let me see.  Hmmmmm..........nobody's ever asked me that before.  I'm gonna say before winter you should go out.  Yeah, that's when I would go.  All you want for free.  I sure wouldn't pay for those things if I were you."

I thanked him, smiled, ignored him, closed the deal on my antlers.

Fifty feet away at another booth I picked up a skull for $8.00 and could have used a paper bag to breathe into to calm my thumping decor heart down.

The Sermon Updated.........Kids, we're city folk.  We don't mind the flea market, the curb, the dumpsters, the garage sale or the dimly lit back room of an antique store to rummage for what we want to replicate on the nature inspired pages of the latest Pottery Barn catalog.

But without a doubt we leave a forest full of blood-sucking ticks to the hunters and gatherers and lay the cash down for the suggested retail.

Lust is a full-priced sin.

The kids pretending they're listening to the sermon.

Now I need more turtle shells.


3 comments:

  1. Like the story .
    Love the display ! ! !

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can help you with turtle shells. And a gator head if you're feelin backwoods.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad it was as successful outing at Sparks!
    I know that heart thumping feeling!!

    ReplyDelete