Whenever I get all hot and bothered by something (I'm talking to you Hobby Lobby) and then write about it I usually get a good response. It seems the tendency these days is to frequently get hot and bothered over current events. There's refugees this week, Congress, Iraq, Israel and guns every week, and Joan Rivers attempt at humor a few days ago.
There's a blog I read that I often think I should quit because she's so, so deep. Half the time I feel incredibly dumb and the other half I'm tempted to comment, "LIGHTEN UP FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!!" This woman recently wrote about the 4th of July and how difficult it is to feel patriotism and pride when you think things in this country are so broken.
"My thoughts exactly" I might have yelled at the screen.
We know so many people in their late fifties or older who have been shoved out of the workforce due to downsizing and a lousy economy. I could name a dozen off the top of my head. Though much of the future I saw for our family hasn't exactly been like my daydreams, losing a job at this age never entered the picture and yet it has happened to so many friends and acquaintances of ours. That isn't our reality, but the possibility of Mark not getting his grant renewed and taking a massive decrease in pay dangles over our heads every day like a swinging ax.
Because this is the nature of what he has always done we live with it. When colleagues get funded we are elated. Look!!! The funding numbers are going up. If their grant is rejected we are knocked flat. It's so bad this year. Worse than it's ever been. The stress is always there and adding sleepless nights and anxiety to that cocktail makes for a recipe of dysfunction.
And so we are working on that. Both of us are trying to figure out how to make our mark on the world with more peace and less anger.
In the blog I read about the 4th, the writer's husband told her that Independence Day is meant to celebrate the "intent." The intent that our founding fathers had for freedom and liberty. The intent that we can move in a new direction and that our unalienable rights will evolve with the times. The intent that the braver among us will stand up for the weak.
Intent is so loaded with hope I may have squealed when I read it.
Out of nowhere last week the idea of the children's book I've always dreamed of writing popped into my head. I could see the main character as clear as day. My niece will be my partner and illustrator. I've written a rough outline. When I told Maggie my idea she steered me in a different direction that makes more sense to the story. While doing my accounting job by day, my nighttime thoughts are swimming with ideas.
At the halfway point of this turbulent season, my midsummer dream is for us to move towards serenity while fanning the flames of our individual creativity.
This is no easy task for passionate, political people like ourselves, but each day is starting to feel more weary than the last, and resting in the waters of hope for awhile seems like the best of intentions.